This last Saturday I had the chance to navigate a short but stunning canyon near my town. It was refreshing to spend a few hours in such beautiful country. The highlight was the 200 ft. rappel at the end of the canyon. Normally, rappels tend to spook me a little bit, but the beauty of the canyon overcame my fear and I enjoyed every foot of the descent.

What a better way to kick me back into the habit of keeping this journal than the birth of my son! What joy the last few days have brought to me. Joy, but also insecurity and fear, of course, but constant, constant reassurance in the form of my wife, neighbors, friends, religious leaders, family, etc. I love the little fellow. I hope I can do him justice as a father.

Even though it was more than a week past the date, we decided to go to the town's favorite pizza joint, the Pizza Factory, to get our oldest daughter her annual birthday pizza. If you tell the waitresses at this place that it's somebody's birthday, they will make them a pizza in the shape of the number of years that you'd like. We ended up going to the restaurant just moments after finishing up the evening weight lifting class, so it was a happy mess, the five of us sitting down, sweaty and smiling, loud at boisterous, to enjoy a late celebration for her. Happy belated birthday, Sweet Pea.

I have missed a couple of days to post, simply because I have been too busy enjoying listening to the leaders of my church share messages of love and hope. That's my first joy on the list today. I love General Conference.

I offered a spur-of-the-moment idea to my wife and daughters that we pump up our tires and ride bikes over to my in-laws' house in the early afternoon. Thankfully, we were able to get air in the tires of all our bikes, some of which were very much out of use, and then we enjoyed a good half an hour together riding along the bike trails around the city, barely missing a rain storm on our return. My 8 year old daughter totally handled the 10 mile ride, hills and all, with her usual awesomeness. She cried a little at the last hill, but was very happy and proud when we arrived home, as she should have been.

A couple of simple joys ended the day:

I have had some pretty busy evenings all this week and had not had time to really spend time with my wife. This evening I got finished with my tasks about an hour before bed, and on the spur of the moment I went to Iceberg and picked up a shake and some fries. We then spent the last hour of the day on our couch, sitting together and talking.

Then, on our way to bed, she went around the house and opened all the windows. At last! It's finally cool enough that we can bring in the outside air at night to help us cool off. I always look forward to fall, and it feels like at last, here in the desert, it's started. Hooray!

In my morning Yoga class, rather than the sparse 2 people that are usually there, there were 8 of us, most of whom were new. There was joy in experiencing something new together.

More joy from service today - it was my first day as a reading tutor at the local elementary school. There was a lot of joy in helping kids learn, particularly the kid that I worked with who needed help with his math homework. I don't know much about teaching math or reading, but it was neat to lay the groundwork into building a relationship that I will have with those kids over the upcoming weeks.

It was also a particular joy to get a better sense of how many volunteers really help out at a school: people of all ages and seemingly walks of life, just sparing an hour or two, or sometimes much more, to help kids get a good start in life.

I went to my wife's weight training class again today. I walked into the room a little early, and saw two of the regular class members setting up benches and weight sets, not just for Sheri, but for several other regulars that they knew was there. A short, fun reminder of the joys of service to others.

My oldest daughter's birthday today. I don't have to go into lengths about how much joy she has brought me during our time on this earth together. She is precious. One of my strongest memories of her birth was looking down at her a few moments after she was born and thinking, "oh, it's you!" I was almost startled by the fact that I recognized her. I firmly believe that she and I knew each other before we came to this earth. She truly has brought me some joy every day she has been alive.

Oh yeah and there was delicious cake too.

Some brief moments of joy from this day:

Firstly, I got the chance to know that an acquaintance of mine, one who had moved away from the area about a month ago and who had been suffering under some considerable financial and mental strain, is now doing very well and his situation has, from what I gathered, been well sorted out. There is joy in being able to share in the well being of others.

Second, although it was under the direct sun with no shade, I got the chance for the first time this year to watch my daughters play soccer. They're no superstars, but it's still a joy to share that time and experience together. I was even offered a spare chair by the dad of another team mate.

Lastly, my beloved Utes decisively won against Oregon. Not only was it fun to just be able to sit and watch the game without wringing my hands, but it was still exciting to watch, even when we were up by 40 points. Creative play calling, punt returns for touchdowns, etc.

It was a good Saturday.

Warm summer day + cool afternoon swim = pleasure. Follow that up with Friday Family Pizza Night and a couple hours of cuddling on the couch with my wife, and today turned out to be a pretty good day. Despite anything negative I might feel or say about my job, I do enjoy the freedom that it gives me to take some moments off for myself and for my family.

Sickness can give you a new perspective on the joys of health and wellness. I had three chances to be thankful for my health:

I caught a cold last week, presumably on the plane ride home from Cancun on Saturday. It wasn't unbearable, but I did feel weakened and foggy for a few days. Today was the first day that I really began to feel better, and I felt a measure of joy at my ability to feel normal and be able to use my physical body to its full potential.

In addition to getting over the cold, I was also able to go for a 6 mile run in the afternoon. Due to a knee injury, I have not been running for some weeks. Out of all the physical activity that I do, I find running the most fulfilling: there is no tool to help you along the way, like cycling. There is no difficulty to breathe or concentration on form, like with swimming. You just run. And in the rhythm of your feet and your breath, there is a great power of meditation. I felt joy at the end of my run, not only because I could finally resume the activity, not only because I went farther than I thought I was capable, but as a result of the mental exercise, as well.

Lastly, I was speaking to a dear friend of mine who recently finished treatment for cancer. He is in full remission. The majority of the conversation was about me and my recent troubles, to which he listened patiently and offered kind and sage advice. At the end of the conversation, he told me that, due to the effects of chemotherapy, he was having most of his teeth removed to see if the bone will grow back naturally. He wasn't angry at all, or at least gave no indication that he was upset or sad at all. I am grateful to have the health that I have, and also for the reminder that I can be cheerful even when I am without it.

The city sponsored a free drive-in movie event last night up at the old airport. They showed my daughters' current favorite movie, "Inside Out." There ended up being way too many people there for the movie to be easily seen, and it was dusty, and my youngest daughter was cranky, and we ended up leaving early so that we didn't get caught in an hour's worth of traffic to get home, it was great fun. My daughters and I sat on the roof of our van and ate donuts and bugles and drank soda. My youngest sat on my lap and kept talking about how beautiful everyone's hair was, while stuffing bugles into my mouth, one handful at a time.

Bacon! My joy today was bacon. I had a delicious bacon salad for lunch today. Bacon, you say? That's certainly a simple pleasure, but a little, um, I dunno, gluttonous, or whatever? Oh, but it wasn't just bacon. Yes, the bacon was delicious, but the joy came because I had made the bacon with a couple of neighborhood friends some weeks ago. Eating it was a chance for me to reap the benefits of the work that we did, and enjoy the memory.

Today's society can be funny. There is a plethora of companies now that ship various things - razors, clothing, knick-knacks, even food - to your door on a monthly or weekly basis for a fee. A friend of mine and I signed up for one such service a few months ago, which sends us a small box of "nerd-dom" every month. Today, my monthly shipment came, and it was right on time! Of course, the stuff isn't important, and therefore not really "joyous," but it does feel good for a few minutes to have a payoff to weeks of anticipation for something, large or small.

After a week's vacation, I have had many, many joys. I have experienced beautiful beaches; touched some real history; eaten excellent food; I got to brush up on my Spanish; spend days upon days alone with my wonderful wife, my friend and companion; and after it was all done, I got to come home again. There is no need to expound too fully on all of those; that small description is enough.

It was nice and cool this morning and I took the chance to get out and go for a quick bike ride. I took the same route that I had done earlier this week, but underperformed on due to two flat tires. It felt great to plow through the route, fast and confident, with a cool breeze on my face. I did run over a piece of glass and had to change yet another flat, but wasn't annoyed in the slightest due to the great fun I was having.

Another day to find joy in small acts of service and kindness to others. The high point of today was a chance that I had to help a new neighbor move in. That one event brought to bear several other small flecks of gold:

1. In whatever small measure, those of us that were there were able to strengthen the bonds of our community.
2. I got to watch a father and son work together for a few minutes. I know little about their previous relationship, but I could tell that they enjoy any little time that they get to spend together.
3. I got a chance to help out the family's eldest daughter by introducing her to my eldest daughter who will be in her same class.

It's great to notice the serendipity that can come from one small moment, when it leads to other moments of joy.

Two small moments stood out to me from this day:

I was able to spend an hour playing racquetball with my brother in law, which I haven't had the opportunity to do for a number of months. Much to my gratification, I found that my skills had not diminished too badly, and I was able to keep pace with him, despite being twice his age.

At the end of the day I had a difficult phone call with my siblings regarding the health and care of my mother, who suffers from Alzheimer's. The darkest moment came when we discussed her two options: continue to live uncomfortably at home for an indeterminate period of time, or be confined to a care center for the remainder of her life, which could be decades, given her genetics. As we discussed the two situations, I was grateful that I have siblings with whom I am close enough that we truly can support one another without any hidden malice or agenda throughout this difficult period in our lives. Siblings are great, even when we have to deal with life's most unpleasant realities.

I've grown to love early mornings. They were never my strong point growing up, nor even in my early adulthood. Granted, I don't love them enough to start getting up earlier and earlier, and certainly it will grow more difficult as fall comes along and mornings get darker and darker. Nevertheless, I had made a commitment to go to a gym class with my wife at 9:30, but I found on that morning that I really didn't want to miss my other, regular class at 6:00 am. So I hopped out of bed at 5:40 and went. And I received a bonus for it - I was the only student to go to the class, and got a little one-on-one yoga training with my very talented instructor. I was able to take another step forward in mastering a difficult pose, and I got the extra work of the 9:30 class in as well. Small joys, but they all add up, don't they?

Many bits of joy througout the day, but the one that stood out to me occurred late into the night. I had woken up to move our youngest, Iva, from her bed, where she was sitting up crying, into our bed. I lay back down and was starting to dream when I heard a large boom and then a sudden rainstorm start outside. There was nothing on the forecast but sun and heat for St George all week. I didn't get up to watch it, but it was mighty pleasant to lie there in bed in the dark and listen to the rain patter on the rooftop and windows. I love listening to rainstorms.

Today was a day to enjoy the talents I have developed. I had about 30 free minutes in between things, and got inspired to pick up my cello. I teach a small handful of students during the week, but outside of that, I really don't have any reason to practice or prepare to perform. But with just a bit of spare time, I did a rare thing and played a few songs for my girls and for my wife as she was making lunch.

In the evening, I did the something similar and took a few spare minutes to finish the gardening projects that I had started the day before.

Both experiences taught me that to enjoy small things you can do, you don't necessarily need to set a huge block of time out for them in order to really enjoy them. A few minutes in a day, if that's really all you have, is sufficient. What a relief that can be in my life and all of its many variables, to not have to really think about where to fit in two other things - they can simply be things to use to fill in the gaps with a little bit of joy.

The joy of a well manicured lawn/garden is an interesting one. After too long a period of neglect, I took a couple of hours to mow and trim the grass, and also to trim up some bushes, take care of our fruit trees, and pull some weeds. The happiness that comes from such a simple task goes way farther than just keeping your house looking nice in the scrutiny of your neighbors. I wouldn't go so far as to say that it comes from some kind of domination of nature or of bringing order to chaos, but there joy in tending to the earth and to making beautiful a small patch of land that is in one's care. It becomes for me a small moment of meditation on the connection between myself and other living things; on my responsibility as a steward of the planet; on my abilities as a parent to care for my kids. Strange, perhaps, but I can't deny the feelings of peace and joy, however simple, that it gives me.

The start of "fall" - while here in the desert doesn't really signal a favorable change in weather - is the beginning of a real harvest of gold. For starters, I got to watch my beloved Utes really hand it to Jim Harbaugh and the Michigan Wolverines. Last year, nearly every U of U game was a nail biter - this one we pretty much had Michigan's number the whole way and it was fun to just sit back and enjoy the domination.

My mother in law had also cooked up some chicken cordon bleus, which were very tasty and reminded me of the beginning of my LDS mission when, in the MTC in Provo, we would eat dozens of these every Sunday.

I missed a day. But now I have a chance to contemplate for a moment on the joy that this blog has brought me so far. In dark or lonely times, which come often to us all, I have come here to jot down just a few sentences, or just one sentence, about a moment of simple pleasure that I have experienced, and always it reminds me of the things for which I am grateful.

Yesterday was a day to be grateful for life as a process - there is no end zone, as well we all know, no single achievement that we reach and then say, "I've accomplished my life!" It is an exercise in following a process, no matter which process each of us choose to follow, in order to become our best selves. There were hardships in my day yesterday, but being able to say that they did not overwhelm me is enough to fill me with gratitude today.

Small successes can bring us happiness - in my yoga class in the morning, I took a step toward mastering a new, inverted balancing pose. I could only hold it for a moment or two, but it was further than I had progressed to date.

I also had a couple of small successes at work - small compliments from my boss and from my clients that helped me to find meaning in what can be a lonely and thankless job.

And of course time with family is wonderful. Our family outing for the evening had to be postponed because we needed to visit the pharmacy to get medicine for my youngest daughter, and we ended up having fun together, anyway, wandering through the store as the prescription got filled, then enjoying a home cooked meal afterward.

My dog's leash got away from me during a walk in the morning, and as a result I was able to spend a few minutes talking to the owners of the dogs that she ran up to. Always great to make new connections in the community.

I spent the morning helping a neighbor put his belongings into storage while he goes to California to nail down a job. There is simply nothing that makes me feel as good as the chance to do some compassionate service for another. It was a bonus that I was able to get some of my other neighbors involved.

St George summer heat can be a challenge. Day after day of 100+ degrees and little to no shade can wear on the psyche and be hard on the physique: personally, I have more trouble exercising in the summer down here than I do in the winter, simply because I know I have to be out in the relentless sun. One fleck of gold that I have neglected to mention in the latest posts are the two days of clouds and rain that we have gotten - much needed respite for me. Yesterday was also my day to swim for exercise. I took great pleasure in dropping into the water and feeling a chill run all over my skin. My mile in the water had me feeling better and refreshed, moreso that I have felt in many days.

The internet in my home also was having trouble yesterday morning so I took the rare opportunity to leave my office and work from elsewhere. I spent four or five hours at my in-laws and it was refreshing to be part of the hustle and bustle around that house. It was their 32nd anniversary and it was fun to watch them get themselves ready for a day of climbing and travel together.

Lastly, we got the chance to take our two oldest girls to watch When You Wish, a musical montage of Disney favorites. Tuacahn theater here in St George is a beautiful outdoor amphitheater. Our seats were pretty high up in the bowl, and off to one side, but we got lucky - they were right underneath the fans that blow down onto the audience! As a result, while others down close I'm sure were sweating, we enjoyed the show from a bit farther up and with a light breeze on us all the time. It was a great show and lots of fun to see my two oldest girls get excited at their favorite songs and princesses.

The ride home and subsequent tuckings in reminded me of the fun times I would have with my mom when I was young - as a high school teacher, she would make great efforts to gather student tickets to operas, plays, symphonies, and when there was an extra, she would take me along. I have fond memories of those evenings and feel my life is greatly enriched by having the opportunity to be exposed to all that culture. My favorite times were driving home with my mom, often long past my bedtime, discussing what we liked about the performance. I never minded having to get up for school the next morning; I was always able to carry those good feelings through with me to the next day.

Yesterday morning I went with a neighbor of mine to perform ordinances at the LDS Temple in St George, Utah. Neither of us had very much  time so we just did about 45 minutes' worth of work, but it was wonderful to start our day aligning ourselves with what we consider important in our lives, both physical and spiritual. Regardless of one's faith, starting a day in this way is a great way to begin.

In the afternoon, I again chose to leave work a few minutes early and join my wife and family at the gym for her afternoon weight lifting class. I hadn't had a chance to exercise in the morning and so I was feeling a buildup of anxiety and frustration that comes from being cooped up in my office for most of the day, and it felt great to push my body as hard as I could for an hour to release all of that tension. Exercise releases endorphins, and people with a lot of endorphins have better days. Or so I have come to believe.

For dinner, we made spaghetti with our girls. I ate some salad, and was feeling a bit hungry still and so fixed myself a small bowl of noodles. I looked in the fridge and to my delight found that we still had some basil pesto, which I greatly prefer over red sauce. It was an extra joy, however small, to an already pleasant moment of dinner with my family.

I had my usual Tuesday pizza lunch date with a friend of mine. The pizza joint that we go to is always good, but this day I decided to reach a bit out of my boundaries and go back to an old classic - the Hawaiian pizza. Scoff if you like, but this one was delicious. They put a smattering of sweet barbecue sauce on top of everything, which was new for me, but made all the difference. Good food with friends is always worth a few bucks and an hour away from the office.

Later in the afternoon, my family had gone to the city pool. I was only going to be able to join them for about the last 45 minutes that the pool was open, so I told them I might not come. A few minutes before I had told myself I would go, I got involved in a creative project that I'm very excited about. I have recently been blocked creatively about this project, so when I started to make some good strides forward, I became motivated and decided that I might not go after all. However, I told myself that I had spent enough time alone in the office, so I threw on my swimsuit and went. Though we only got about 30 minutes together, I had a wonderful time swimming with my beautiful girls, much better than time alone. And today, I still feel the creative charge of yesterday.

On Monday of this week, a neighbor brought us a bag of cookies for really no reason at all. They were delicious.

My wife and I stayed up late two nights in a row, even though both of us had to get up early the next morning. The first night, we broke from our usual pattern and turned on an old stand up comedy routine that we liked, and both of us laughed until we cried. Last night we ended up just talking about family, faith, life, the state of our family, until just about midnight. It was wonderful to feel that close to the most important person in my life.

This morning I woke up inexplicably at 4:30 in a state of mild panic - all of the hair on my arms and neck was standing on end, and I couldn't get back to sleep. I decided to stick to my guns and go for my weekly bike ride with my brother in law up to Sand Hollow reservoir and back. In an effort to push the anxiety away, I pushed up the steep hill as fast as I could and I ended up beating my personal best time by a whole minute. The anxiety receded.

Introduction

This is an attempt to gather small moments of joy in my life and document them for posterity.

During the California gold rush, a miner with little experience was panning through the river. After a few days of frustration, he was about to give up, sell his equipment, and move back home to his old life.

An old miner, with a small, bulging sack attached to his belt, came up to the new miner.

"There's no gold in this river! I have wasted my time, money and efforts," said the young miner.

"There is indeed gold in this river, you just have to know how to look for it," the old miner replied.

"I have been here for two weeks and have not found a single nugget. I have nothing in my sack to show for my work; how long will it take me to find enough to pay for my time, let alone to fill it as you have done?"

"My sack isn't full of nuggets," said the old miner, and he reached down and opened the bag for the young man to see.

The young man looked into the bag and, to his astonishment, found that it was filled with tiny flecks, not nuggets, as he would have expected.

"You won't find many big nuggets in this river, but it is full of tiny bits of gold, that, if you know how to gather them, will make you rich indeed."

Life, like the river, is full of happiness. It does not often come in large nuggets, as we would hope, but if we know how to recognize, and hold on to, the small flecks that come our way, we can fill our days with richness.


Though I am posting these thoughts on a public forum, I don't expect many, if any, to read them. However as I go through my days and gather the flecks of joy that I see, it is my hope that they will bring richness to anyone who comes across them.